When your back is against the wall and you need help as a caregiver, you might find yourself feeling frustrated that other family members aren’t stepping up. Why is it so difficult to get them to pick up the slack for you?
You Feel as if You Shouldn’t Have to Ask Them.
When you’re in a situation, it’s tough to believe that other people don’t understand what’s going on and see what you need. That’s how it can feel for caregivers sometimes. Other family members should just know to reach out and to offer a helping hand here and there. But if you’re not letting them know what you need, you can’t expect them to read your mind and magically pop in when you need help.
You’re not Asking for Something Specific.
Another error you might be making inadvertently is that you’re asking for help in general. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, all you know for certain may be that you need some help and you need it fast. But you need to get specific. Ask a family member if she can run that errand you haven’t been able to get to. Or if he can take your senior to her doctor’s appointment when you have that mandatory work meeting. Get specific.
You’re not Keeping Their Lives in Mind.
Just as your other family members don’t know every single thing that is going on with your life, you don’t know every single thing going on in theirs. That seems like common sense at first, but when you really soak that in, you’ll start to realize that they have obligations and responsibilities that sap their energy, too, and they may not be able to help in the ways you need them to help.
You Need Help They Aren’t Equipped to Give.
One of the ways they may not be able to help is that they simply don’t have the skills or the tools to help you and your senior. This is where hiring elder care providers can be exactly what you need. They have the experience of helping caregivers and aging adults with just about every situation that can come up.
You don’t have time to fight losing battles. If you’re not getting the help that you need and you’ve adjusted your approach, you may simply need to move to other options. Other family members may be able to help more later on.