When Your Loved One Is Hesitant About Asking for Help by Marci

Our loved ones often do not like to ask for help. After all they do not like to admit that they are not capable of doing what they once were able to do without a thought. They also do not like how their roles have been reversed often with their children. They can often feel like they are a burden to their loved ones and nobody likes to feel like a burden. This is why it is important to approach our loved ones in a compassionate and sensitive manner without treating them like children. Family can often feel frustrated when their loved ones resist asking for help and this frustration can often lead to the family ignoring their loved ones’ needs altogether.

Some ways to assist your loved ones without making them feel like a burden when help is needed are:

-Don’t make your loved one feel badly if they are unable to do a task. This will only lead to more resistance to ask for help.
-Make sure your loved one is involved in all decisions. If they feel that they have been part of the decision process they will feel more in control of their situation.
-Be proactive and talk about future assistance well before it is needed.
-Discuss what could occur if your loved one does not ask for or accept help.
-Explain that asking for help is a sign of strength.
-Talk through how working/teaming together promotes closer communication and relationships.
-Let your loved one remain as independent as possible for as long as possible.
-Research together long term care options including home care.

Remember to put yourself in your loved one’s place, and think about how you would feel if your independence was stripped away from you. Think about how you would want to be treated and how much you would want to be involved in the decision making for your own life. Working together will produce the most positive results.